Are people afraid of saying they want to lose weight?

When I was younger a large part of my identity and purpose hinged on how I looked. I wanted to have the Armani jeans and the Lacoste polo with the little crocodile. And I really, really wanted the 6 pack abs underneath.

How many people wanted to look "better" when they were in their youth? And how many people still want this now?

Do you think about it more? Less? The same?

Are you less happy with how you look now than then?

All of this is by the by in that it's impossible to compare our levels of desire or thought as it's so subjective. If you were worried about how you look today, you might think you didn't think about it much when you were young. Or if you feel good today, you might feel it used to plague you much more.

This matters as many people publicly say they aren't bothered. And It's my opinion that many people who genuinely do want to lose weight have a really big issue with saying they want this and looking good is important to them. We fear it sounds vain and selfish.

It's much easier to say we want to be fitter, healthier or more confident. Words I hear now and heard constantly as a personal trainer.

Is that because that's what people think I'd want to hear? Is it what they genuinely believe? Or are people afraid to be vulnerable and say aloud:

"If I lose some weight, it'll change the way I look, which changes the way I feel about myself and that makes me a lot happier."

Watch the actions, not the words.

Clothes, hair, cars, make up, shoes, fake tan. We spend billions on exaggerating the way we look. Even things that benefit performance are often chosen because of the way we look better to others (gym kit, running trainers etc).

Many people say they don't care about how they look but their thoughts and buying decisions contradict that.

A lot of people struggle to be vulnerable enough to be honest (both with themselves and with me) to go after what they really, truly want. And so they never achieve it.

If that's fat loss, then go after that. Do it in a sustainable way where the pros outweigh the cons.

It's important to not crash diet and make your life hell, you must do it in a sensible way for it to last. Whether you choose to make changes or not there are always cons. There is pain in change and pain in staying the same.

With change you have to get fitter, stronger, more active and consume sufficiently low calories to enable you to lose weight and keep it off. And these things have to be done forever.

If you are going after strength. fitness, activity or health because you want to lose weight then be careful. You are at risk of chasing 2 rabbits and catching 0. Which is just as bad as catching the rabbit you didn't want.

It is easier to help someone to get stronger, fitter, more active or have more nutritious foods in their diet and they get fatter than it is the same result and lose weight. Once you remove the brake of calorie control, people can fuel as they see fit to achieve that goal.

Often people who want fat loss use these metrics to give them wiggle room in their food. Which then ironically takes them further from the goal they actually wanted in the first place!

Or they say these things to make themselves feel better about the fact they haven't lost any weight or changed shape.

Here's a good way to test it.

What is your goal currently? Whether this be health, fitness, strength, confidence.

If you achieved this, and got fatter, would it be worth it to you?

If you answered yes - all good, push on towards that goal.

If you answered no - maybe your goal is actually fat loss and changing your approach to accommodate this would be beneficial.

If you answered, yes, but I really don't want to gain fat - then you need careful consideration of your nutrition strategy on your way to this goal.

My parting comment is to be honest with yourself and go after what you really want. Now more than ever people fear their decisions being judged by others. Social media has given the impression that more people care about your life than ever.

I love the quote by Eleanor Roosevelt:

Any thoughts or comments let me know here.