Are you being passive about your mental health?

Anxiety is one of the mental health conditions that we have the most control over.

I was listening to "Be Calm" a very popular book on anxiety the other day and was struck by this statement as, whilst someone who doesn't suffer from anxiety, I have been very stressed these last two weeks.

For those who don't know, me and my partner Chrissi have a side business in property we are trying to grow so she can reduce her hours in her job and we can have a better quality of life together.

We have recently bought a house that is a BIG project (damp course, new roof, dormer, full rewire, moving the boiler, the bathroom, installing an ensuite, reinstalling fireplaces, new windows, new flooring, removing a wall, emptying it of existing crap, stripping all walls and redecorating!).

As this started we also got the opportunity to take on 2 flats from a landlord to then run as Airbnb's; I've already typed a lot about house issues but these are NOT ready to go either and one in particular requires a lot of work.

We're also refurbishing a dated property I own 40 minutes drive away and the handyman who took the work on never showed up so we took this on too.

All alongside (trying to) run my half of Sustain. I am busy. It's costing a lot of money. I am stressed!

Oh yes, I also received a text on Saturday saying one of my tenants has gone off the rails, leaving the front door open in the night, drinking through the day, leaving the bathroom in a state and the housemates are NOT happy. When I went to see him he was unable to talk or lift his head whilst passed out on his bedroom floor with poo stains on the bed!

It never rains but it pours.

I have been using ALL of the different tools I use with clients and whilst it has helped slightly there hadn't been a seismic shift of any sort.

Until yesterday.

I was talking with a client who has worked with me for over 2 years, who has changed her life and lost a staggering 3 stone 3lbs, she has trained as a counsellor and is in fact working with us as a coach.

She mentioned a tool I had created that had worked for her before, I dug this out and in 5 minutes had completed it.

By working through my problems on my laptop (instead of in my head) it gave me a new sense of clarity and voila I felt better.

So often we are passive with our approach, or we use the tools we have and if they don't work we throw our hands in the air as if we've exhausted the bank.

But it's not true.

There are always more solutions to try. And the truth is most people don't even do that, they let life happen to them. They ignore the advice or suggestions with a false belief that this is how it is.

I implore you, if you are struggling, to be proactive. In "Be calm" Jill Weber talks about the 3 things people need to overcome anxiety:

1 - Awareness that they need to change
2 - Belief in the approaches they are trying
3 - Belief if others can do it they can too

If you'd like some direct help with this let me know and I'll be happy to help in any way I can.

Good luck!